BROKE but still BEAUTIFUL

UPDATE: Still broke.

FURTHER UPDATE: I still want to be beautiful!


There are a lot of things I will spend (a lot) of money on.

My hair - highlights, lowlights, keratin, cuts, blow-dry, sulfate-free shampoo!
My face - retinol-a, facial, tons of creams and wrinkle releasers.
Money on mani/pedi's, all sorts of clothing, shoes, and accessories, food, and entertainment.

Of course, during this time these luxuries are few, and far between....

But - I refuse to give up my beauty!


 For the longest time now I have wanted to get Latisse. For those of you who don't know what that is (and live under a television-less rock), it is a liquid that is applied to the lash line to make your eyelashes grow in fuller, longer, darker, and much more fabulous. For obvious reasons Latisse is not covered by insurance (and for the record, it will not be covered by "Obama care" either), and the cost ranges from state to state. The cost is inconsistent because in some states you can get the product from a doctor's office, while in other states (like mine, freaking New York!), you have to get a prescription from a doctor, and fill it at a pharmacy.  The cost ranges - $75 - $180 - so it isn't a ton of money - but - I don't want to spend $180 dollars for something if I don't have to. Also - this cost is for a 1-2 month supply. Some people use this product for 6-9 months to get the desired effect. That being said -- I began to google -- see if there are any alternate treatments out there - and if the cost was worth it.

Most similar  growth serums seem about the same - made from a few drug components I don't really recognize (or pronounce) - but - it seems - mostly comprised from things like "vitamins" "proteins" and honey (really?). These serums are much cheaper (around $50 for a 3 month supply) BUT - are not evaluated, or approved by the FDA.

I decided I would try some "at-home" treatments. They are cheaper, and safer (I hope).  After a lot of google- research I have decided the best test treatment for me is the "Vaseline Treatment".

For the next 6 weeks I will be applying Vaseline to my eyelashes at night (before bed). Rumor has it the Vaseline strengthens the eyelashes, moisturizes them, and conditions them -- causing them to grow in longer and thicker.

I will be documenting my eyelash growth every week.

This is how it began: 

I will keep posting my results!





Xo.

DSB

Makeup Repair!

DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES!

So as most of you know I am not fully employed at the moment.  I really enjoy shopping - and with the seasons changing -- and my inability to buy new things for fall slowly becoming more apparent - I am beginning to contemplate selling a kidney on the black market (a girl could buy a lot of shoes with $200,000!!!). With limited income, I don't have much to go on - and I am starting to become very creative (to avoid a major depression).

 I always enjoyed makeup, and I have a ton of it - the "everyday stuff", "party shadows", "wild lipsticks", "fall in lover with me sparkle mascara"... etc (looking for a boyfriend? I have amazing full and long faux eyelashes!). Furthermore, I sometimes catch myself daydreaming about:  MAC, Bare Minerals, Estee Lauder, Clinque, Sephora, Smashbox, NARS, and Bobbi Brown. (These cosmetics are expensive: ranging from $8-$65+) Needless to say this has been a very interesting summer - and sadly, I have reached the bottom of a few compacts. Instead of allowing myself to shop-lift, I decided the most legal/best option was to go through my mother's "old" makeup. (For those of you who have never met my mother she really, really, enjoys accessories. She has tons of coats, amazingly beautiful jewelery, and maybe 70 pairs of shoes; I assumed she must have had at least 30 different lipsticks, and a ton of eyeshadows, liners, pencils, etc...). Thankfully, my mother once worked at Nordstroms -- so she has a ton of the "good stuff" -- and a pretty big variety -- but -- a lot of the mineral eyeshadow were crumbled, broken, and messy.

My amazing mother let me take pretty much everything I wanted (except one NARS compact and a few eyeliners) -- BUT -- before I could claim my "shopping" a success, I had to figure out what to do about the broken eyeshadows. After a few google searches, and youtube videos -- I present you with the best, easiest, and cheapest way to fix broken, crumbly, messy eyeshadow: 


Materials Needed: 
1 plastic ziplock bag (the smaller; the easier)
A baby wipe (or wet napkin)
1 cotton Q-tip
Rubbing alcohol


STEP 1: Place the open eyeshadow compact in the plastic ziplock bag. Put all the shadow powder in the bag.

STEP 2: Clean out the compact with a baby wipe, and then dry with napkin.

STEP 3: Fill-up the rubbing alcohol's cap with alcohol.

STEP 4: Take the Q-tip - dip it in the alcohol and line the inside of the compact (just wipe the wet Q-tip inside the compact).

STEP 5: Slowly pour the loose powder back into the compact.

STEP 6: Slowly put a drop or two of rubbing alcohol in the compact - mixing the alcohol and powder with the tip of the Q-tip.

STEP 7: Mix the powder and alcohol together; slowly adding a drop (or two) of alcohol at a time until it mixes and becomes a thick paste.

STEP 8: Smooth out the paste - leave compact open - and dry over night.

*The next morning you will have your old, broken, crumbly, eyeshadow looking, feeling, and functioning like new! (And probably rid of any yucky bacteria!)*




Hopefully, this will save many broken, crumbly, 
and messy eyeshadows!

Don't waste your money people! 
(unless it's on me!!!)







Xo.


DSB

I Am So Proud To Be A Violet!

Wondering what made me the great writer I am today????

Thank You NYU!

The New Ivies - 2013 - College/University Ranking

#1! 

The ALPHAS The BETAS (& The OMEGAS)

I once knew this guy that explained 'dating' to me in simple - but - abstract (and amazing) way. He expressed that relationships were successful because the two people in it had the same goals, morals, and 'rational' thinking (and I am assuming also attraction). He divided the dating population into two groups: BOND people and STOCK people.

A little past history: I matched this guy up with a very good friend of mine; I really thought they'd hit it off - long story short, they didn't, and when I went to meet both of them for a drink (to pride myself on matching up their chemistry) it turned out my girlfriend left because she got the impression he was much more into me than into her. ((FOR THIS I AM EXTREMELY SORRY... AND I PROMISED NOT TO MATCH HER UP AGAIN). After she left I turned to him and said something like "what happened? I thought things were going to go so well!?" and he said "Listen. It's simple. There are two types of people in the world: STOCKS people and BONDS people. She is a 'Bond' person - she is nice, wholesome, and consistent. She 'plays it safe' and doesn't take risks, she takes her time. She knows what she is putting in, and enjoys knowing exactly what she will get out. ME and YOU... we are 'Stocks' people: we are inconsistent, game-changers, we take risks, we either get it all, or we crash and burn, we want it all - and we never make the safe bet. STOCK people and BOND people hardly ever work out."

I have never heard of this 'stock-bond' concept before, and haven't heard it described since. I am not sure if he made it up, or someone told him (perhaps another STOCK person?)? Either way, it got me thinking.... Is it really about the person you are? or the chemistry you feel? 

ARE THERE DATING PERSONALITY TYPES?

ALPHA?

               BETA?

                           OMEGA? 

Since this moment of great epiphany - I have discussed my thoughts on  'dating types' to countless others. While friends and I discuss our love lives -  I always resort back to this personality structure. Unlike the guy who first exposed me to these such ideas, I believe the best combination consists of two people with some varying traits. As the famous philosopher, and artist, Paula Abdul once said, Opposites Attract:--> youtube - video - opposites attract - paula abdul .



Lets discuss the types:

Alpha Personalities

Alpha people like to assemble information and analyze it from a practical viewpoint. They are driven by a concern for purpose. Successful Alpha types utilize a moderate to very strong Will. Their Love (concern for people) characteristics are relatively low. They pay attention to detail, like clearly stated goals and are very systematic. They are usually quite successful in business utilizing extraverted behavior at work but their personal relationships are often for their benefit only. They are more introverted in social settings than extraverted in that they are not interested in socializing. They like to do things by themselves or with only one other person as opposed to participating in group functions. Their personal relationships build up to a moderately affectionate level and then stabilize. They are not comfortable discussing emotions. They are secure within themselves and they do not recognize that they need the security of a relationship until it is over.

 

Beta Personalities

Beta people function in relationships by being good listeners. Their primary focus is on concerns for people and they have moderate to very high Love characteristics. Their exhibition of Will is relatively low. They tend to identify with the problems of other people. They are more interested in socializing and personal bonding than they are in planning events or completing a goal. Most of the time, they let things happen. When there Will is developed to a moderate level, they are extraverted in social settings easily entering into conversations involving emotions. With a low Will, they are withdrawn and introverted in their behavior. They can be quite insecure in personal relationships where emotional reinforcement is low.

 

 

Omega Personalities

Omega individuals  have integrated behaviors in that they are thinker-feelers and intuitive-sensors adapting these behaviors to situations as needed. They are self-actualizers requiring little outside influence to take appropriate actions to correct misunderstandings in personal relationships. They exhibit "tough love" characteristics when dealing with dysfunctional people and they are true to their ideals. Personal relationships are very real and meaningful for the Omega Type. They develop very secure and long lasting relationships. 
                                                                                  (definitions obtained from: psychosynthesis typology: http://two.not2.org/psychosynthesis/articles/rmoore.htm)

OK - so now that you read the little blips - and systematically and cautiously decided which type you are now think... what does this really do for you? are you happy with your category? or do you want to change? can you change? or is your personality so innate and ingrained in you that not even the best psychoanalyst could break it apart?


Which do I think I am? Ha. Well you know me... which would you say? ;)


(((In all honesty - I am not 100% happy about the 'type' of person I am. I, just like everyone else- second-guesses myself; I have doubts - sometimes I wonder what people see-in-me. ((For example: this weekend alone at least three people said to me: "wow, you are (so) much smarter than I thought you were." I occasionally look at others and wonder what they have that I don't - why they are on a different path than myself?  After debating it with myself (many times) I decided I just need to be me. Take it. Leave it. Love me. Hate me.)))


*Perhaps your type changes depending who you are with. Maybe you become a fearless leader around some, and a shy wallflower around others. Maybe when you first began dating you were introverted, passive, and conservative. Maybe after a relationship crash-and-burn you became weary, and tough. Eventually maybe this turned you into an aggressive and flirtatious dater; becoming a heart breaker all-your-own. No matter which - it is important to recognize who you are, what you bring to the table, and what you are looking for (not only while dating - but in all social interactions in life). 


Think about it. 

Accept it.

OR - maybe change it.....




 ------

I hope you take this information and make something of it. 




Xo.

DSB 





TO BE CONTINUED....

It's been real LDW 2012, Goodbye!

Dating Etiquette

Let me start off by saying that I am not a dating expert. 
I went to undergraduate, and graduate school for psychology - I also completed a full 1200 hour School Psychology internship; so I know a-little-bit about social interactions, and social expectations.... BUT -- I am not a dating expert!

All my thoughts, opinions, and suggestions written here are just based on my opinions. 

Enjoy!

------------

Recently, (within the past six-weeks) one of my friends text me on her way home from a date. It was obvious at this point that there were sparks between her and this guy. She seemed super tired, but she was  giddy with delight! Here was a nice guy, good looking, has a great job, and is getting ready to settle down (What more can a lady ask for?!?)


As her and I chatted (hours later) we (really I) ate frozen yogurt, and talked about her new beau. Everything between her and him was PERFECT...except she had no idea what he was "looking for" and his full intentions. This got me thinking.... What is the proper dating etiquette? What should be discussed, at what point is a discussion appropriate, and do you even need to disclose your (dating) past (if you are worried it may impact your future?)

-------------

STATUS FLASHBACK: During last labor day weekend, while at the beach with a few friends, and "friends-friends," I overheard this crazy (between two guys) discussion about how girls should wear a bracelet while out at a bar;disclosing if they are interested in just making out, having sex, or just nothing at all. Obviously these bracelets would be color coated (and I assume available in a multi-pack).  This way, no guy would waste their time. I originally thought this was an insane idea... but the more I thought about I had flashbacks to college. While in a sorority at NYU, we had a lot of mixers. I remember this one party, where you had three options - everyone would need to wear a red, yellow, or green shirt. If you were single (and ready to mingle) you were green. If you were unsure (either kinda-seeing someone, or just not totally interested in the mingle) you were yellow. If you were in a relationship, or anti-social, you were red.) Obviously, somehow, this is very acceptable (when all parties agree). 

------------

So... you're thinking.. 'where am I going with this?' Here it is:

What is proper dating etiquette? 

Back to my friend.... she really likes him, she is confident that he really likes her.. BUT she has no idea where to take it from here. When should she text him?, when should he text her?, when should they seeing each other again? When does she ask him about his ex's and how many people he has slept with? when does she sleep with him herself? When does she ask about their 'relationship's status'... it was unclear to her, and clearly unclear to most (myself included) how this whole thing works. 


Here's a few of my ideas on Dating Etiquette:

Texting is a really great way to get to know someone. Between texting and facebook you could learn almost all superficial information about another person. (by 'superficial' I mean - just 'at the surface' information). The frequency of text messaging has no rule, and should be  as much or as little as both people are comfortable with. Things (conflicts?) like work schedule or school should also be taken into account -- some people have their phone on them at all times, and have it on ring, while others keep their cell in a jacket, a purse, or on the desk most of the day, on silent or vibrate. It is unfair to assume someone 'likes you' or 'doesn't like you' based on their ability to answer text messages quickly. It's about the quality, not the quantity! If the date went well, contact should be made (to either party) within 72 hours.

After a date, two, or three, you both should be talking on the phone. Even if it's for three minuets while hes at work, just so he can ask you which restaurant you'd like to get pizza at for dinner.; it is very important to 'talk 'vocally. It is a BIG RED FLAG if a guy you are "talking to," "seeing," or "dating" won't speak to you on the phone. Similarly, it is another BIG RED FLAG if you are texting back and forth, and you call them (it would be easier just to talk than text) and he/she doesn't answer the call, but texts you back. NOT OK!!!  OBVIOUSLY - this rule does not apply when someone is with close family, at a special party, or at work. I am talking about on a random Saturday afternoon. Hearing someone's voice not only allows you to hear the tone, pitch, and articulation of the other person's voice, it also is a lot more intimate. (( If you like me, call me!))

 
The frequency of dates can be very variable; again based on individual preference. Be Aware: if you just met someone, and you begin to see them four days a week, the relationship will be progressing at a much quicker pace. (Which again, is based on preference). Some people meet -- BOOM-- SMACK -- they see each other all the time, meet each others family within weeks, move-in together within months, and get married with-in two years. However, some people meet -- and casually date -- and casually date -- and casually date -- until months have passed at they either move to the next level, or move on. REMEMBER: more often than not; frequency increases intensity, make sure you "don't bit off more than you can chew."

ARE YOU OFF THE MARKET?: When you are dating someone sometimes you're never quite sure if you should still be seeing other people or not, or -- whether the other person is seeing other people. This is an important discussion before you take it to the next level (whatever that is). ((This will also be mentioned in the below sections!))


SEX. You and your friends spend hours talking about it throughout High School (at least me and my friends did!); once upon a time it was a big deal to everyone. Overtime the rules of sex have changed. For some, they can have meaningless one-night-stands, and they are as happy as a clam. For others, it is a very special, intimate thing, that can be very sacred. GENERALLY SPEAKING: if you're interesting in dating a person, you shouldn't sleep with them on the first date. I recommend: the both of you go on a date. It doesn't have to be anything special, Starbucks are on every corner, and they have a lot of beverage options.  Although I don't recommend making a sex- rule: (i.e., after the sixth date I will sleep with him), I think it should be based on the quality of your interactions, and when you feel comfortable. Generally speaking, after five-or-six-or-seven dates most people feel comfortable enough for the horizontal mambo. (Similarly: If your having sex, I think you should have introduced him/her to some of your friends, and that you have mentioned them to your family).  

*NOTE: There is no "golden rule" about one-night-stands. I do know a few couples that met, had a one-nightter, and then hung out - and eventually became a couple. YOU NEVER KNOW!!! 

Your Number: If you are having only one night stand this is not a necessary discussion. After a few dates )with the same person) numbers should be discussed. Not for judging purposes; this not only will make you feel more comfortable with the other person, but gives you an idea how they view sex. Rumor has it that guys inflate, girls deflate. This may or may not be true. It is probably very situational. Similarly along these lines -- it is very important  to make sure the other person is clean. Or - if they aren't, they should tell you they've got sometime (Herpes is the gift that keeps on giving!). Asking someone if they have gotten a recent STD check may seem silly, but there is nothing silly about genital warts or gonorrhea! If you think people don't do this, I will tell you, I have asked every guy I ever seriously dated if they have had an STD check recently, and if they have slept with somebody since (even if it was with a condom).  It may sound very 1980's but -- SAFE SEX IS GREAT SEX. If they won't go for a "check-up" or won't disclose their status,  chances are this is not the person for you. 

The Exclusive Non-Committed:  In the age of "booty calls"  it is important to know if you are having sex together, what your status is. It can be agreed upon that it's just for fun. Most of the time people are looking for something more. The Exclusive Non-Committed (ENC) is a very interesting type of sexual relationship that has recently emerged. ENC means you are exclusively (only) having sex with each other (consistently), but you are not their boyfriend/girlfriend. This might be for a number of reasons (i.e., not enough time to devote to the other person or  inability to fully commit...etc.). The ENC can be a lovely thing, but be aware that for most people, it is hard not getting feelings for someone you are being so intimate with. BEWARE!

Relationship Status while dating this is something very important. I don't mean to be "official" on facebook, I mean to create a bond - and continue to flourish it.  Although it might not be normal to ask some guy you never slept with if he's your boyfriend, it is OK (and important,) to ask them what are they looking for (?). Of course they can lie, and tell you they want a relationship when they just want someone to f*ck, but I hope most people will be honest about it -- to prevent hurting people's feelings. I think asking "what are you looking for" is a good question before you have sex. BUT - that's up to you, and the individual situation!

EXAMPLE:  You wouldn't jump into a pool full of black murky water... you'd ask what is in it (?). -- walk around, inspect it, maybe bend down, see what it feels like - maybe even smell it -- you'd be cautious. You should be just as cautious with you heart. 

---------------

LASTLY: Here are TEN rules to follow while on a  FIRST (or maybe second or third) date:  


1. Always keep your hygiene up-to-par!:  Shower that day. Wash your hair. Brush your teeth. Wear deodorant.  Look your best!

2.  Tell (at least) two friends where you're going, and the name of the person you are with!: Safety is always very important. 

3. Don't drink too much!: No one enjoys being around a drunk person, especially one you just met. Set a two drink minimum, and never drink on an empty stomach. MEN: Don't keep ordering drinks for the lady, if she'd like one, she'll order it. LADIES: don't try to go 'drink-to-drink' with a guy you hardly know. Drinking isn't meant to make you loosen-up on a date. It's best to have a clear mind during these situations.

4.  Have good eye contact & smile:  If you are interested in the person you are with, look him or her in the eyes while they/you are talking. (WINK! WINK!)  Not only is it socially appropriate, most people can read how the dates going by facial expressions. Smiling shows that you are interested in the other person, and what they have to say. 

5. Minimize the use of your cell phone:  Maybe you forgot a watch so you need to check the time, OK. got it. More than that, it is very inappropriate to keep checking your cell. If you are expecting an important call tell your date. If this is not the case, do not answer your cell (If you are worried about emergencies -answer if the person calls back again (in a short period of time)... no one with an emergency only calls once).  Being on your cell phone is very rude, and can turn off the other person very quickly. 

6. Do not ask about income, political affiliations, or other sensitive subjects: if you hit it off you'll get to learn those anyway. 

7. Ask "open-ended" questions:  Don't ask any serious questions... ask general "open-ended" questions like: "what do you do on the weekends?" "where did you grow up?" "what is your favorite food?"... these are great "ice-breaking" questions. 

8. Be OK with silence: Silence is an important part of communication. Allow a short pause between you; don't just speak to hear your own voice.

9. Don't be late: It is best to pace yourself to arrive at your date location five-ten minuets before the meeting time. NO ONE LIKES SOMEONE WHOSE LATE.

10. Be Yourself: always project who you really are. No one enjoys an imitation. (Besides: the real "you" will come out eventually).







Hopefully you got something out of this.

Remember: You Live, You Learn. 


Xo.
DSB