A little past history: I matched this guy up with a very good friend of mine; I really thought they'd hit it off - long story short, they didn't, and when I went to meet both of them for a drink (to pride myself on matching up their chemistry) it turned out my girlfriend left because she got the impression he was much more into me than into her. ((FOR THIS I AM EXTREMELY SORRY... AND I PROMISED NOT TO MATCH HER UP AGAIN). After she left I turned to him and said something like "what happened? I thought things were going to go so well!?" and he said "Listen. It's simple. There are two types of people in the world: STOCKS people and BONDS people. She is a 'Bond' person - she is nice, wholesome, and consistent. She 'plays it safe' and doesn't take risks, she takes her time. She knows what she is putting in, and enjoys knowing exactly what she will get out. ME and YOU... we are 'Stocks' people: we are inconsistent, game-changers, we take risks, we either get it all, or we crash and burn, we want it all - and we never make the safe bet. STOCK people and BOND people hardly ever work out."
I have never heard of this 'stock-bond' concept before, and haven't heard it described since. I am not sure if he made it up, or someone told him (perhaps another STOCK person?)? Either way, it got me thinking.... Is it really about the person you are? or the chemistry you feel?
ARE THERE DATING PERSONALITY TYPES?
ALPHA?
BETA?
OMEGA?
Since this moment of great epiphany - I have discussed my thoughts on 'dating types' to countless others. While friends and I discuss our love lives - I always resort back to this personality structure. Unlike the guy who first exposed me to these such ideas, I believe the best combination consists of two people with some varying traits. As the famous philosopher, and artist, Paula Abdul once said, Opposites Attract:--> youtube - video - opposites attract - paula abdul .
Lets discuss the types:
Alpha Personalities
Alpha people like to assemble information and analyze it from a practical viewpoint. They are driven by a concern for purpose. Successful Alpha types utilize a moderate to very strong Will. Their Love (concern for people) characteristics are relatively low. They pay attention to detail, like clearly stated goals and are very systematic. They are usually quite successful in business utilizing extraverted behavior at work but their personal relationships are often for their benefit only. They are more introverted in social settings than extraverted in that they are not interested in socializing. They like to do things by themselves or with only one other person as opposed to participating in group functions. Their personal relationships build up to a moderately affectionate level and then stabilize. They are not comfortable discussing emotions. They are secure within themselves and they do not recognize that they need the security of a relationship until it is over.
Beta Personalities
Beta people function in relationships by being good listeners. Their primary focus is on concerns for people and they have moderate to very high Love characteristics. Their exhibition of Will is relatively low. They tend to identify with the problems of other people. They are more interested in socializing and personal bonding than they are in planning events or completing a goal. Most of the time, they let things happen. When there Will is developed to a moderate level, they are extraverted in social settings easily entering into conversations involving emotions. With a low Will, they are withdrawn and introverted in their behavior. They can be quite insecure in personal relationships where emotional reinforcement is low.
Omega Personalities
Omega individuals have integrated behaviors in that they are thinker-feelers and intuitive-sensors adapting these behaviors to situations as needed. They are self-actualizers requiring little outside influence to take appropriate actions to correct misunderstandings in personal relationships. They exhibit "tough love" characteristics when dealing with dysfunctional people and they are true to their ideals. Personal relationships are very real and meaningful for the Omega Type. They develop very secure and long lasting relationships.
(definitions obtained from: psychosynthesis typology: http://two.not2.org/psychosynthesis/articles/rmoore.htm)
OK - so now that you read the little blips - and systematically and cautiously decided which type you are now think... what does this really do for you? are you happy with your category? or do you want to change? can you change? or is your personality so innate and ingrained in you that not even the best psychoanalyst could break it apart?
Which do I think I am? Ha. Well you know me... which would you say? ;)
(((In all honesty - I am not 100% happy about the 'type' of person I am. I, just like everyone else- second-guesses myself; I have doubts - sometimes I wonder what people see-in-me. ((For example: this weekend alone at least three people said to me: "wow, you are (so) much smarter than I thought you were." I occasionally look at others and wonder what they have that I don't - why they are on a different path than myself? After debating it with myself (many times) I decided I just need to be me. Take it. Leave it. Love me. Hate me.)))
*Perhaps your type changes depending who you are with. Maybe you become a fearless leader around some, and a shy wallflower around others. Maybe when you first began dating you were introverted, passive, and conservative. Maybe after a relationship crash-and-burn you became weary, and tough. Eventually maybe this turned you into an aggressive and flirtatious dater; becoming a heart breaker all-your-own. No matter which - it is important to recognize who you are, what you bring to the table, and what you are looking for (not only while dating - but in all social interactions in life).
Think about it.
Accept it.
OR - maybe change it.....
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I hope you take this information and make something of it.
Xo.
DSB
TO BE CONTINUED....
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