As most of you know: In May I graduated with my Master's in School Psychology. Although it was not the hardest accomplishment I have reached in my 26 short years on the planet, it wasn't the easiest either. You'd be amazed how much energy it takes to make an adolescent realize they are being immature, silly, illogical, or just plain dumb. Not to say that all that I did. I give A LOT of credit to School Psychologists. Yeah, they do get all the same perks as teachers, but, unlike (most) teachers, most of their day is dealing with the "UN-positive" (I'll call it UN-positive because it isn't really the negative). Throughout the year School Psychologists test students, cognitively, academically, socially-emotionally; it isn't easy stuff. Students (of all ages) get annoyed, fed-up, and irritated. (Lets be totally serious... I would be beyond bitchy if I had to be pulled out of lunch or art or figurative writing to sit in some random person's office and repeat number sequences, write an essay, or answer stupid questions about my (consistently changing) emotions.) Besides testing, School Psychologists also are school-based counselors, and lastly, are basic "guidance givers" (to students, teachers, parents, and staff). It's a tough job, and not for those wimpy bitches who want summer's off and paid vacations.
That being said, upon many long conversations with my own therapist, endless (and I mean unending and sometimes pointless) conversations with my parents, friends, and anyone else who-gave-two-shits, I have decided to take a different path. I would love to be a flower child, and see where the wind takes me, but in all honesty, following the wind doesn't pay the bills, doesn't buy the shoes, doesn't give the funding needed for the maintenance of botox. I mean lets face it - I want to age (more than)gracefully in the best Jimmy Choo's or Tory Burch's money can buy!
So you feel bad for my parents right? That's the normal reaction. "BUT you're parents!?! They spent all that money!" "What about all that TIME, EFFORT, and ENERGY you put into this degree?" "Maybe you should just try it out and see, maybe your mind will change!" YEAH YEAH... I have heard it all, and you know what, don't feel bad for my parents, I was a great child, and they can brag to all their "adult" friends that their daughter who was once a victim of a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury [I will save that story for another entry]) went off to the big, bad, evil ( insert fluttery fingers and evil look here) New York City, and came home with an Undergraduate degree in Applied Psychology and a Graduate degree in School Psychology. Yeah, they can't say shit. I am the one people should feel bad for. After all this education, all those hopeless nights of going through the APA manual, and endless moments of 1's and 0's praying for a freaking basal or ceiling (yeah, you won't get that unless your a School Psychologist...) I just don't see myself doing it forever (and by forever I mean like starting 'right now') (AND - to further push the point - I have applied to something like 78 jobs either in School Psychology or something super similar and nothing has really come of it. And - I am not one to waste time and wait for the fishes to bite. I don't eat anything that lays eggs and is covered in scales.) Besides, as many of you are already well aware: from an early age I have perfected my wink and smile; and as some probably really-drunk bitch at a bar told me "If you got it, flaunt it". And that's just what I plan on doing.... bow chika wahhh wahhhh....
I know what you are thinking. I watched way to many episodes of "Sex and the City" and I have the undying wish to become the i-phone using, frozen yogurt eating, sexting naked pictures, Tory Burch wearing- more modern version of Carrie Bradshaw, but you'd be way wrong. Mama's going into the business world!!! BUT - I mean, why not entertain the masses with my hysterical antics while I am unemployed and on the job hunt?
So here's the deal. I am going to try to blog everyday. Which, obviously, will probably turn into an every-other-day habit. There are no rules - I can write about anything I damn well please - and I will also be taking suggestions from friends/"followers" - just encase you have an need to hear my opinion on anything. And by anything... I mean anything. In the beginning I plan to right about things that always confused or frustrated me. Although I can't guarantee it will be the most productive and educational moments in your life, I promise (to try) to make it the most entertaining/interesting/(possibly mind-numbing)/thought-provoking moments in your day.
Enjoy!
Xo.
DSB
You should start interviewing people at bars :D
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