My Top 20 Favorite Things ...2012 - the unemployed edition....

In No Particular Order:

1. Skull Shamballa Bracelets

2. Gold-toned  (slightly over-sized) Watches

3. White Skinny Jeans

4. "Bared to You" by Sylvia Day (If you loved "Fifty Shades" you'll enjoy this one too!)

5. KIVA - (http://www.kiva.org/)

6. ABC's "Bachelor Pad"

7. Nordstrom Rack 

8. Quick Tan - sunless tanning mist

9. The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust - Adopt an Orphan Elephant

10. "Miss Advised ;)" on Bravo

11. White or Rose Merlot Wine

12. Buckeyes (Peanut butter balls with Chocolate)

13. Men's Synchronized Diving (adorable men in speedos!) 

14.  British Diver Tom Daley (oh.my.god.)

15. "Bitter Is the New Black" by Jen Lancaster (If you adore Chelsea Handler you like this one too!)

  

16. Chance Eau Fraiche Chanel for women (Green Chance Bottle)

17. Etsy.com - (Buy and sell handmade or vintage items)

18. Moroccan Oil 

19. Andy Cohen - "Watch What Happens Live" - Bravo 

20. Nails Inc. The Wyndham Collection Special Effects Overglaze Polish Set

Love at first smell?

oh disney!

Coming Soon: Trophy Wives...

My Personal Theme Song?

Glamorous Life... ( My Personal Theme Song?)  <----Listen and Enjoy!

Thanks Shelia E!
Even a year before my birth you got me!


(CLICK ON THE LINK ABOVE... Do It! Do It! Do It!)

(Excessive) Body Hair!

Ok - So I don't want to come off as a bitch about this.
I know that body hair is genetic.
You don't chose to have it, or not to.
I get it.

That being said....
If you have it,
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!


I am going to make this post two fold. I will do an extra-small literature review (sorry, no APA citations!) and then give my honest opinion.


--------------------------------------


DEFINITION:

Hypertrichosis (also called Ambras syndrome) is an abnormal amount of hair growth on the body^; extensive cases of hypertrichosis have informally been called werewolf syndrome. The two distinct types of hypertrichosis are generalized hypertrichosis, which occurs over the entire body, and localized hypertrichosis, which is restricted to a certain area. Hypertrichosis can be either congenital (present at birth) or acquired later in life. The excess growth of hair occurs in areas of the skin with the exception of androgen-dependent hair of the pubic area, face, and axillary regions. ^{(Wikipedia, 2012)}

<sup>OK OK OK! I am blowing things out of proportion. This condition is really rare. In all honesty, I am not talking about Hypertrichosis (Jesus help them!). I am just talking about those people (men) who are hairy and choose to do NOTHING about it. Being hairy is a really, really, really big turn off, and, could be a real mood killer.


A Little Personal History: 
 I can really be a hardcore bitch sometimes, and for this I am truly sorry (this too is genetic)! Way back when (circa 2011)- I evilly, (but humorously,) shouted out a (really nice, good) guy for not being manscaped.  Looking back on it - it is a personal choice, and in all honesty, if it's not ruining "your game" it is probably something you don't need to address; and, it's definitely not my place to shout you out.  Regardless, I am not sure why it bothered me so much. I have seen porn for the 70's... body hair (e.g., bushes) were really in.... even a desired, sexy trait! I don't know exactly how, or when it happened, but now (2000's +) being sexy is being extremely manscaped, or hairless (ladies too!). I don't know if this is just a genetic (innate) preference I have, or it is something I acquired, but it ruins it for me. (i.e., if I was a guy, and I saw a hairy body, I'd lose my stiffy). 


TO ME nothing is more unattractive than meeting a nice (attractive) guy in a v-neck, and then looking at his chest and wondering "is he wearing a sweater under there?" "Maybe he's growing it out for locks-for-love?" or "I wonder if his birthday's coming up so I could buy him a "no-no" or a weed wacker?" (Don't judge me... you have thought it too, but you're too shy (beta-style) to say anything!)

Furthermore: body hair gives me the 'heebee jeebee's'). It is 2012 people! We have sent people to the moon,  we can clone shit, and you're telling me you never heard of LASER HAIR REMOVAL? NAIR? What about a razor? I know you have one ( chances are you're not rocking a hassidic beard!) Please get more shaving cream (or ask me, I will get it for you!), and do the rest of your body! Oh, or wait, you don't want to shave off your natural body heater because you're worried you won't look so manly?!? Not to worry, that's why G-d invented trimmers (and scissors)! Please take care of your shit, and I will take care of mine. DONE DEAL.  

Sadly (or awesomely), My hatred of body hair has gone so far -I have waxed guy's chests. Trust me, (and if you don't you can ask my friends), I have gone out, spent my own money, have taken time out of my busy day (eh, not really so busy) to come over, allow you to talk to me about your day (like I actually gave a shit), and then become your personal estheician! For FREE! Just so I wouldn't have to see the Man-FUR. This is a serious problem, but thankfully not an epidemic! 

Thinking more in-depth about this, I wonder how many opportunities I have 'passed up' because 'he' was a hairy dude. I am sure in some karmatic way I will end up marrying a hairy man, or have hairy kids, or when I start going through menopause I'll start growing un-slightly hair.  (FML!)

-------------------------------------------------</sup>

 

^{That being said, I am not going to leave people in the dark about this issue. If you are a sufferer, (sorry your genetic makeup sucks) here are a few things you can do:}

 Hair removal treatments are categorized into two principal subdivisions: temporary removal and permanent removal.Treatment may have adverse effects by causing scarring, dermatitis, or hypersensitivity.

 

Temporary hair removal may last from several hours to several weeks, depending on the method used. These procedures are purely cosmetic. Depilation methods, such as trimming, shaving, and depilatories, remove hair to the level of the skin and produce results that last several hours to several days. Epilation methods, such as plucking, electrology, waxing, sugaring, threading, remove the entire hair from the root, the results lasting several days to several weeks.

Permanent hair removal uses chemicals, energy of various types, or a combination to target the areas that regulate hair growth. Laser hair removal is the most effective method of long-term hair removal. Electrolysis (electrology) is also used for permanent hair removal.

Medication to reduce production of hair is currently under testing. One medicinal option suppresses testosterone by increasing the sex hormone-binding globulin. Another controls the overproduction of hair through the regulation of a luteinizing hormone.(Wikipedia, 2012).

In Closing: --- IF THIS WILL HELP CHANGE THE LIFE OF A MAN WITH MAN-FUR, I HAVE DONE MY PART! 

P.S. - If you are an attractive (single?) male, and/or an already established friend, and you'd like to become manscapped, or hairless, give me a call! I'll hook you up! :)

Xo.

DSB  

 

You, you may say
I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one....

People Who Whistle

There are a few things I really hate in life. Of these things that I hate, there a few that are just general, non-situational, every-single-f*cking-time, without-a-doubt, HATE.  Now let me preface this by saying that I don't hate whistling because I can't do it. I can whistle very well, so if need be, I could very much save your life (you know, while you're in the ocean... (cue the JAWS theme song) and a vicious great white is about to enjoy your leg as a snack... I'd whistle make you aware, so you could turn around and bop that little f*cking on the nose). That being said, I hate people who walk around (the street, office, mall, supermarket, music store, ANYWHERE) whistling.

My argument is really simple:
Talking and whistling are both forms of expression.
Both have tone, pitch, volume.
Both reflect a thought, feeling, behavior...etc...

So why wouldn't they both have the same "rules?"

Why can one be socially acceptable while the other raises people's eyebrows...?


Situation 1 Ex: Dr. C (you might know who I'm talking about) walks around the halls whistling to himself. And by whistling I mean verse-by-verse of some stupid song. His steps even start to go along with tune. The more he gets-into-it the even louder his whistling becomes. Let's face it -- he's one jolly mofo.

Situation 2 Ex: Dr. C (If we are remotely friends from graduate school you totally know who I am talking about) walks around the halls talking to himself. And by talking I mean having a full on conversation. As he discusses something he is conflicted about his speech becomes louder and louder. Let's face it - he's one crazy-ass mofo.

MY POINT:
If it isn't NORMAL to walk around talking to yourself;
It shouldn't be "NORMAL" to walk around whistling to yourself.

Furthermore; It's a terrible habit that's annoying frustrating, and just rude! -- (( Did you (the whistler) ever think maybe I'm (the innocent bystander) trying to maintain concentration while I shop for nude pumps???.. and thanks, your own theme song is really killing my shopping buzz!))

Listen, you don't have to agree with me, that's fine (everyone is entitled to be wrong) but next time your out somewhere, in public, wait, listen, and watch those weirdos walking around whistling and tell me they aren't a few cents short of a dollar!


You're welcome. I might have just changed your life.



Xo.
DSB

Blogging - (The perfect way to keep my sanity (and humor) while unemployed, beautiful, and broke!)

WELCOME TO MY BLOG!

As most of you know: In May I graduated with my Master's in School Psychology. Although it was not the hardest accomplishment I have reached in my 26 short years on the planet, it wasn't the easiest either. You'd be amazed how much energy it takes to make an adolescent realize they are being immature, silly, illogical, or just plain dumb. Not to say that all that I did. I give A LOT of credit to School Psychologists. Yeah, they do get all the same perks as teachers, but, unlike (most) teachers, most of their day is dealing with the "UN-positive" (I'll call it UN-positive because it isn't really the negative). Throughout the year School Psychologists test students, cognitively, academically, socially-emotionally; it isn't easy stuff. Students (of all ages) get annoyed, fed-up, and irritated. (Lets be totally serious... I would be beyond bitchy if I had to be pulled out of lunch or art or figurative writing to sit in some random person's office and repeat number sequences, write an essay, or answer stupid questions about my (consistently changing) emotions.) Besides testing, School Psychologists also are school-based counselors, and lastly, are basic "guidance givers" (to students, teachers, parents, and staff). It's a tough job, and not for those wimpy bitches who want summer's off and paid vacations.

That being said, upon many long conversations with my own therapist, endless (and I mean unending and sometimes pointless) conversations with my parents, friends, and anyone else who-gave-two-shits, I have decided to take a different path. I would love to be a flower child, and see where the wind takes me, but in all honesty, following the wind doesn't pay the bills, doesn't buy the shoes, doesn't give the funding needed for the maintenance of botox.  I mean lets face it - I want to age (more than)gracefully in the best Jimmy Choo's or Tory Burch's money can buy!

So you feel bad for my parents right? That's the normal reaction. "BUT you're parents!?! They spent all that money!" "What about all that TIME, EFFORT, and ENERGY you put into this degree?" "Maybe you should just try it out and see, maybe your mind will change!" YEAH YEAH... I have heard it all, and you know what, don't feel bad for my parents, I was a great child, and they can brag to all their "adult" friends that their daughter who was once a victim of a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury [I will save that story for another entry]) went off to the big, bad, evil ( insert fluttery fingers and evil look here) New York City, and came home with an Undergraduate degree in Applied Psychology and a Graduate degree in School Psychology. Yeah, they can't say shit. I am the one people should feel bad for. After all this education, all those hopeless nights of going through the APA manual, and endless moments of 1's and 0's praying for a freaking basal or ceiling (yeah, you won't get that unless your a School Psychologist...) I just don't see myself doing it forever (and by forever I mean like starting 'right now')  (AND - to further push the point -  I have applied to something like 78 jobs either in School Psychology or something super similar and nothing has really come of it.  And - I am not one to waste time and wait for the fishes to bite. I don't eat anything that lays eggs and is covered in scales.)  Besides, as many of you are already well aware: from an early age I have perfected my wink and smile; and as some probably really-drunk bitch at a bar told me "If you got it, flaunt it". And that's just what I plan on doing.... bow chika wahhh wahhhh....

I know what you are thinking. I watched way to many episodes of "Sex and the City" and I have the undying wish to become  the i-phone using, frozen yogurt eating, sexting naked pictures, Tory Burch wearing- more modern version of Carrie Bradshaw, but you'd be way wrong. Mama's going into the business world!!! BUT - I mean, why not entertain the masses with my hysterical antics while I am unemployed and on the job hunt?

So here's the deal. I am going to try to blog everyday. Which, obviously, will probably turn into an every-other-day habit. There are no rules - I can write about anything I damn well please - and I will also be taking suggestions from friends/"followers" - just encase you have an need to hear my opinion on anything. And by anything... I mean anything. In the beginning I plan to right about things that always confused or frustrated me. Although I can't guarantee it will be the most productive and educational moments in your life, I promise (to try) to make it the most entertaining/interesting/(possibly mind-numbing)/thought-provoking moments in your day.


Enjoy!

Xo.

DSB